There are times when I wish that I could just be a worker bee. Give me a task and let me do it. No thought. No reflection. Just action. I'd be happy just to do my job and fulfill everyone's expectations. But, I'm not. I require reasons and some kind of purpose to do things. I expect some sort of fulfillment in the work that I do. I cannot simply do what I am told. I don't respect authority that cannot prove that it has a right to exist. Titles, (like pastor, elder, senator, president), mean nothing to me. Rank, be it class, race, or gender is a useless designation. For me, respect matters. Servant leadership by peers matters. Goals matter. Money, prestige and power will automatically turn me against the source. No, I'm no worker bee. I'm an adversary.
There are some folks can simply choose to follow the rules and live a "godly" life. They go to work every day and live quietly and, I guess, contentedly. Then, there are those like me. We are agitated. And, we agitate. We do not have peace. We are driven to excess. We are not satisfied. (Please, don't come to me with any kind of status quo argument. You won't even get a hearing.) But, for many like me, there is no clear direction. There is no place for our energy to go. Consequently, we are the frustrated ones. We are depressed. We are the ones that folks talk about when they say 'melancholy.' And, all too often we let that paralyze us. With no clear direction, we sit...and, not very patiently. What I do know is that as I sit here with no outlet for the passion that God has built into me. A passion that roils and churns like magma looking for a weak spot to vent. If I can't find such a place, I am in danger of exploding with catastrophic results.
Those like me drive fast and live hard. We read the scripture and see God's passion and relentless love on the pages. We do not 'get' the forensic crap that many of our fellow travelers take for granted. We certainly DO NOT view the scripture as some kind of "users' manual." To reduce the Word of God to such a utilitarian 'to do' list is quite simply bull-oney. We see Jesus willing to heal. Jesus, the One who accepted women and lepers and pharisees and tax collectors. We can see ourselves in the Good Samaritan. Now, there was a person who disregarded the conventions of the day and did what was right. We get 'pissed off' at people who want to quote some kind of dogmatic position that makes someone...anyone...seem less than human. We don't buy into ANY legalistic position that doesn't take into consideration the fact that we are dust and, somehow, Yahweh still loves us.
I don't know why God has made me, as a fellow traveler described, a Poet & a Lunatic. Someone who sees faces in the clouds and who takes a sideways glance at the supposed solid things in the cosmos. Someone who enjoys a good problem to solve and a taste of good Irish triple distilled. But, one thing I am quite sure of...I am not a worker bee.